


Safe Harbor

by mshakarios



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Male Character, bare chest touching, i love thane but he has so much angst and it kills me, let him be happy i s2g, open communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 06:10:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16887102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mshakarios/pseuds/mshakarios
Summary: Emmett can't sleep, and goes to visit the one person on the ship whose company he craves the most.(M!Shep/Thane, recently established relationship, very cuddly but also pretty serious. Trans male Shepard. Lots of physical contact but it's more tender than erotic, doesn't get any steamier than a tiny bit of shirtlessness and Thane internally being a Disaster Bisexual over Em's bare chest. Rating is just to be safe, it's just a lot of cuddling and talking.)





	Safe Harbor

**Author's Note:**

> Just wanted to write a little Thane/Emmett piece taking place after they get together and before they form a triad with Garrus. Decided to employ one of my very favorite tropes, "Honest Communication Between Two Characters Who Care For Each Other Very Much." That's very much my jam. Also, post-top-surgery trans dudes letting their significant others touch their scars. That's pretty high on my list too. Anyway, enjoy angsty bi lizard dad and his dumbass human boyfriend in a rare (well, rare for Emmett) moment of tenderness.

The quiet mechanical whir of the door and the soft, almost silent plodding of bare human feet stir him from his thoughts. A quiet, familiar voice greets him from over his shoulder.

“Hey there. You, uh...mind if I join you?” Emmett’s tone is uncharacteristically tentative, almost sheepish as his request echoes softly through the life support room. “Can’t sleep.” 

“Of course not, Siha.” Thane turns in his seat to look at the human man behind him; his lover, he supposes? No, that would be inaccurate; the two have not yet been together physically. Boyfriend? He dislikes the sound of that one, finds it too casual. (Is their relationship casual? It has been less than a month, after all, following a much longer period of what could be best described as mutual pining. They are still in the early stages of this relationship, still learning each other, feeling out the logistics of being together. Deep down, though, Thane already knows that the stirring in his gut and the pounding in his chest when he sees the other man cannot by any stretch of the imagination be described as casual.) 

Whatever Emmett Shepard is to him, the fact remains that the human commander is here now, barefoot and clad in a plain shirt and loose-fitting patterned pants that Thane assumes are his sleep clothes, and wrapped loosely in a large blanket that drags on the floor behind him. The sight is almost comical. The human nods at his affirmative response and plods over to the small cot behind where Thane is sitting, laying down on his side to face the other man and draping the thick blanket over himself. 

“Sorry for botherin’ you like this. I just...I mean, I couldn’t sleep, and it’s lonely in my cabin, and I kinda...well, you’re the only person who I really wanna see right now, y’know?”

He sounds almost defensive. Thane gives him a slight reassuring smile.

“I understand. I have similar problems with sleep. However, you don’t need an excuse for coming down here; I always enjoy your company.”

“Hmmm...well, why don’t you come and enjoy my company over here?” Emmett’s voice has regained a bit of his normal healthy confidence, and Thane is more than a little relieved as he stands from his seat and crawls into the cot beside the human. 

The first thing he notices is the warmth. Before Emmett, Thane’s physical contact with humans was mostly limited to neck snaps; he never took the time to notice how warm they are, and as Emmett’s thick, muscular arms envelop him in an embrace, he finds himself melting against the soft heat of the commander’s body, basking in his warmth. Emmett makes a soft noise of appreciation and his embrace tightens, gently pulling Thane to his chest. The drell loses his composure for just a second, letting out a deep, appreciative sigh against the fabric of his companion’s shirt. They lay like this for a moment, Emmett adjusting the blanket to fall over both of them and beginning to trace his fingers lightly over the patch of bare scale exposed by the cutout in the back of Thane’s jacket. 

“Hey...you mind if I take my shirt off?” The words are mumbled against Thane’s forehead, breaking the comfortable silence. “I, uh...don’t usually sleep in one.”

“I don’t mind.” 

Emmett nods and sits up, pulling off the white t-shirt and tossing it carelessly onto the floor beside the cot. Thane tries very hard not to admire his chest, and fails within a matter of seconds.

The human really is beautiful, settling back down in the bed beside his companion; Thane’s dark eyes can’t help but roam over him, taking in the sight of those strong arms, that chest and stomach thick with layers of firm muscle and soft fat. He is covered in red hair, thinner and more wiry looking than the hair on his head, and Thane idly wonders what it would feel like under his fingers. He notices the faint crescent-shaped scars under Emmett’s pectoral muscles, and the human snorts in soft amusement as he realizes where Thane is looking. 

“Yeah, they’re kinda ugly, but believe me, it looked a lot worse before I got ‘em.” He teases, green eyes gazing at his companion with adoration and full lips giving him a lopsided little grin. “You can touch, if you wanna. I won’t break. Promise.” He takes one of Thane’s hands gently in his own and places it against his chest. 

Both men are silent for another long moment as Thane tentatively brushes the backs of his fingers over the exposed skin, still silently marveling at the warmth and softness of the strong body that holds him close. Emmett responds with a barely audible noise of contentment from somewhere in the back of his throat, and Thane looks up to meet his eyes, feeling a tightening in his chest at the clear adoration he finds in them. He gives the younger man a slight smile, then returns to his explorations, the tips of his fingers brushing curiously over the wiry red hair that covers Emmett’s chest. The texture is as strange as he expected, but not at all unpleasant; he spends another moment feeling and stroking at the wiry curls, knowing that this is a memory he will want to relive after this night is over. Finally, he turns his attention to the scars. 

They are slightly discolored against the fair skin of the human’s chest, and faintly raised. He knows that these are not the original scars, at least not in a technical sense, but he assumes that Cerberus reconstructed them accurately when they rebuilt Emmett’s body. New scars painstakingly crafted to look like old scars; he silently wonders if the human is ever bothered by them, if he would have preferred his reconstructed chest to be smooth and blank. Thane gingerly runs his thumb along the length of one scar, and Emmett melts into his touch, leaning in even closer. Of course Thane knows what they are; Emmett has always spoken candidly and openly about his transition, and Thane has done his own research on the topic in response, curious about how exactly the process differed between humans and drell. He knows that Emmett had this particular surgery in his early twenties, roughly ten years ago, and he has a vague idea of its purpose and what was removed during the process. But clinical knowledge of the procedure is different from actually seeing the evidence of it on the other man’s chest, and he finds himself fascinated, deeply honored that Emmett trusts him enough to allow Thane to touch him like this. 

“Let me know if I ever make you uncomfortable, Siha…” He murmurs, bringing his hand back up to stroke over Emmett’s chest hair once again. “I imagine this is difficult for you.”

“Mmmm...not really.” The commander’s voice, usually so bright and exuberant, is hushed and tender now as he responds both to Thane’s concern and the feeling of cold hands exploring his skin. “It was a long time ago; I don’t really think about it anymore. It’s just my chest...I just had to get a few renovations done on it before it could feel like it was really mine, y’know?” He grins. “I’m glad Cerberus didn’t get rid of the scars when they rebuilt me. I like ‘em; they’re part of me. It wouldn’t be my chest without ‘em.”

“I understand. I only wanted to make sure.” He steels himself and takes a breath. “I haven’t done anything like this in...a very long time. I can’t help but worry that I’m doing something wrong.” 

“What do you mean, ‘like this?’ Listen, Thane, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I didn’t come down here to seduce you or anything. I know you’re takin’ your time, and I respect that.”

“No, it isn’t that. I only meant that I…” He sighs. “I haven’t been close to anyone like this, not since Irikah. All of this, learning how to be with you…”

“Oh.”

“Emmett...I want this. I want to be with you. My feelings for you are waking me, in ways I haven’t felt in years. I don’t want to…” He trails off, searching for the right words.

“Hurt our chances?” Emmett offers. 

“Exactly.” Thane brings one slow, tender hand up to stroke his human boyfriend’s face, feeling the scratchy texture of the man’s thick red beard brush against the scales of his knuckles. “You’ve become very important to me, my Siha. I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings between us. I don’t want to hurt you without realizing it.”

“You’re worried about...boundaries?”

“To put it succinctly.” 

Emmett smiles, not the goofy haphazard grin that Thane has come to expect from him, but a soft, genuine smile that lights up his eyes even in the dimmed room. 

“I appreciate that. A lot.” He pauses for a moment. “Boundaries are something that I’ve...never really been given before.” 

“I know, and that’s why I thought it important to talk about this. Emmett...you deserve to feel safe.”

“You already make me feel safe.” He presses a long, soft kiss against the top of the older man’s head, and Thane relaxes into the embrace, savoring the scratchy brush of Emmett’s beard and the softness of the human’s lips against his scales. Emmett finally pulls away after a long moment, and as they part he gently takes Thane’s face in his hands, gazing down lovingly into the dark depths of his eyes. “I mean, that’s why I came here tonight. With all this confusing shit goin’ on around us...you’re one of the only people I can feel comfortable with.” 

Thane does not ask who the other people are (part of him already knows; vivid memories flash behind his eyes of that certain look of longing that flashes across Garrus’s face sometimes when Emmett is near. He puts that memory of sad blue eyes aside for the moment. Whatever uncomfortable love triangle has developed between the three of them, he doesn’t want to deal with it right now). Instead he begins an intent study of the soft planes of Emmett’s face as they lay tangled together in the tiny cot, drinking in the sight of soft, freckled skin and deep green eyes and wondering to himself how he was ever neutral on the subject of whether or not humans were attractive. The man before him is truly beautiful, there is no doubt of this in his mind or in his heart. It is clear in Emmett’s expression that he is thinking something quite similar about his own partner, and Thane’s chest aches with affection as the soft, warm pads of human fingertips move up to brush softly across his bottom lip. 

They lay like this for what seems like an hour but is likely only minutes. Eventually, Emmett breaks the silence with quietly murmured words. 

“You know I feel the same way about you. I’ll never hurt you…” His wandering fingertips move to the side of Thane’s face, gently stroking over the exposed, sensitive reddish flesh he finds there. “You’ve been through so much, and I just wanna make sure you’re always comfortable being with me. I don’t want…I mean, your wife, she was...” He pauses his stammering, taking a deep breath as he silently decides on the right words to say. “She was the love of your life. And I just...I never want you to think I’m trying to replace her.” 

Thane gives him a tender, understanding smile. 

“I appreciate your concern. And...you aren’t wrong.” He goes quiet for a moment. “I miss Irikah every day. It is difficult not to think of her...the memories come, whether I’m prepared to handle them or not. I’ll admit, I’ve been worried about what you must think of all this. It seems unfair to you, for me to dwell so often on the past.”

“Thane, she was your wife. You’re always gonna love her, and you’re always gonna miss her. From everything you’ve told me, it sounds like she was really something special. Loving her so much, and losin’ her the way you did...people don’t just get over that. Especially not people with a perfect memory.” The words spill out all at once, and despite the nervous twinge in his voice Emmett’s eyes are so tender, full of so much affection and understanding that Thane wants nothing more than to melt into him; and as the human continues speaking, Thane does just that, going comfortably slack in his arms. “So, no. It doesn’t bother me. It’s never bothered me.”

“I don’t want you to doubt my feelings for you.”

“I never have.” Another gentle kiss is pressed against the darker spot of scales on Thane’s forehead.

“Siha...I…” His voice is a mere whisper, his cool breath ghosting against the other man’s soft skin as he trails off, leaving words unsaid that Emmett can only guess at. Finally he looks down, breaking their eye contact and studying the softness of Emmett’s chest once again as he speaks. “Thank you.” 

It sounds almost like he is trying to say something else. Emmett doesn’t comment, only pulls his lithe body into another hug, running his fingers in tiny circles across the older man’s back as they lean into each other. When he finally speaks, his lips brush against Thane’s skin, finding the smooth green scales unusually warm from the heat of his own body. 

“I’ll stay as long as you want me here...” He murmurs, and something in his tone tells Thane that “here” refers to more than just the small cot in life support.

“Let’s start with the night.” 

“Mmm...yeah. That’s a start.”

They lay together in silence, and Emmett begins to drift off in Thane’s embrace, green eyes fluttering closed and broad chest rising and falling with the slow, steady breath of sleep. Thane’s head is swimming with thoughts and questions as he gazes at the man in his arms, watches his full, soft lips part slightly and can’t help but indulge in silently reliving his memories of being kissed by those lips just minutes earlier. He ponders Emmett’s words, realizing with a twinge of bittersweet sadness that the human has an unfortunate habit of talking about their relationship as if they will have a future together. An unavoidable feeling of guilt constricts his chest, adding to the slight yet constant pressure that the disease holds with a steady certainty on his lungs. He knows that it is cruel to both of them to let Emmett talk like that, to let him hope for a future they can never have. Despite all of this, however, despite the guilt and the sadness that flare up inside him, Thane can’t help but feel a sense of hope, a grateful happiness that curls up somewhere in his chest and seems to warm him from the inside out. He gazes at Emmett with profound affection in his eyes one more time before giving into sleep, relaxing for what seems like the first time in years as he melts comfortably against the other man’s body.


End file.
